We all hear and read about those standard stages of toddlerhood. The transition from crib to big boy bed. Potty training. Tantrums (a.k.a. the “Terrible Twos.”) Food regression. Major jumps in vocabulary. But it seems over the past few months, I’ve discovered some funs stages that the educational books just don’t tell you about.
The I Know Better Than You Stage: For example, I’ll tell my son that something is orange. “No,” he insists, “it’s red.” No, I tell him, this is orange, then I should him something that’s red. Let it be known that he has already long established that he knows the difference. He’s not colour blind. And he knows very well what’s orange, red, green, blue, yellow, and so on. This same argument repeats for other things. “Here’s a pretzel.” “No, that’s not a pretzel.” Um, I’m pretty sure it is.
The Age of Indecisiveness: I’m noticing this one getting worse and worse. Given an either/or choice, my son will flip flop between them as if it’s the most difficult decision in the world. I ask if he wants milk. Yes. I proceed to take the jug out of the ‘fridge, and he yells out “No! I want juice.” OK, I switch to the apple juice. “No!” he declares again. “I want milk.” This will go on forever until I essentially make a decision for him. Whatever the decision, he’ll inevitably cry and be upset with it. This certainly tries my patience.
The I Am Too Busy to Eat Stage: My son’s typical answer to “Patrick, do you want to come have breakfast?” Is “No, I want to play with my cars.” Well yes, I’m aware of that. But you also need to eat to gain the sustenance needed to continue actively playing with those cars. Strangely, he doesn’t quite comprehend that just yet. Priorities, I guess.
The ‘Oh, You Want me to Tell You I Popped BEFORE I Go…?” Potty training sucks. I wanted to begin as soon as my son was able to walk. But I quickly learned that as much as every mom wants that wonder child who was magically potty trained by a year, it doesn’t always work out that way. Sometimes just aren’t physically and/or mentally ready. At 27 months, I still don’t think my son is. Though there’s progress as he now sometimes tells me after he’s gone. Baby steps, I guess.
The Repetitive Stage: The most common words I hear in the car are “I want cereal bar. I want cereal bar. I want cereal bar.” Yes, he will repeat this over and over again. I guess because, locked away in that darned car seat, he’s got nothing else to do and finally realizes that he’s probably hungry. And maybe he should have actually eaten that breakfast instead of pushing it away and insisting he get back to Lightning McQueen. He’s smart enough to know cereal bars are portable food, and often kept in the diaper bag. And they taste good. Hence, the request. Over. And over. And over again.
The Parrot: Yes, this tip you’ve heard before. Kids are like sponges. They soak up everything. my son kept going on this morning about $60. I have no idea what he was talking about, but he obviously heard it somewhere. He’ll often repeat things I say immediately after, which means the cursing has to be eliminated, at least during his waking hours. What baffles me, however, is when he repeats full sentences I said to him days prior, out of the blue. As if to say see mommy, even when you didn’t think I was listening, oh, I was listening. I’m always listening. It’s kind of creepy, come to think of it…
The Binge Watching the Same Movie: I have gone through stages over the past few months. First, it was the Cars stage. Then Jungle Book, followed by Monsters, Inc., Kung Fu Panda, and The Lion King. Yes, whenever my son watches a movie, he gets it stuck in his head, and wants to watch it every single day. On a happier note, if it means I’m not relegated to watching 3 episodes of Bubble Guppies every day, I’ll take it.